These times, they are a-changing......

Again with the long absence here....

I'm still lurking around... and tonight I have decided to try and come back and interact a little more! I'm taking my journals down on the weekend... Time to start over fresh and fresh means FRESH! I'm also going to delete ALOT of my old 'art'... some of that stuff just isn't me anymore.

It's been a rollercoaster year... All it took was for me to hit rock-bottom... LITERALLY!!
I'm talking about a complete mental breakdown of the largest extreme!  It had been building up and building up and I'd bandaid it then bandage it when it got bigger and when I couldn't cover it any longer... Well, it happened. I had time off work and had some serious therapy ... But I learnt a lot about who I really am and who I want to be and where I want to be.

So I've gone through a lot and changed a fair amount too. But I still have regrets, but there is nothing I can do to undo the things I have done that I will always hate myself for, some of those things I still can't understand WHY I did them in the first place :/ I miss the friends I've hurt. I miss the friends I've stopped talking to- through no fault of their own... and now I don't know how to say sorry. But I am. I'm sorry for not being a better friend. But at the same time, not to make excuses, I wasn't very stable for a good while there!
I am NOT their doormat anymore!
I WILL not take shit from people when it isn't warranted!

So, a few months back I turned 24! HOLYSHITYES!?
I'm all grown-up and shit now, taking care of my unit and what-not... I love living alone 8D
I feel sad sometimes that I have little to no time to be SUPERAMAZINGLYNERDYOMFG anymore... I still enjoy geeking out but it makes it more exciting now as I don't do it very often.

New friends are surprised to learn that I am deep down always going to be an UBER Nerd
And yet the still choose to be my friend... I like this idea of REAL friends~!
I like not being a teenager anymore. I don't miss school much either...
Who were you people!? How dare you try to form me into your crappy cracked and jaded mould of "normal"!

I feel a little saddened when I come back here and realise that a lot of the people I used to chat to and admire aren't around these parts anymore... But then I see how I have grown and changed since joining 8 years ago and drifted to and fro between my geekdom and the real world... I understand some of the reasons they aren't here anymore and if I could, I'd wish them all the happiness in the world~!

Because, one thing I have learnt this past year, for sure is that happiness beats everything!

And if I had to lose a little of my geeky old self to gain this new happy self...

...

I think it's a fair exchange! <3
/liferants

Bexie